This just came in from one of the senior teachers I have been supporting. It is shared here with permission. Everyone’s story is different of course – and if you are curious to change yours then please get in touch.
“Hi there I just wanted to send you a few words that sum up what happened to me. I could have gone on about my visits to the GP, photographing my swollen joints and rashes so the GP didn’t think I was making things up, it’s quite funny now I’m ‘fixed’ – although it wasn’t at all funny at the time ….. Especially as it was also suggested at one point that my symptoms were psychosomatic… In 5 months I’ve forgotten how debilitating it can be to have:-
intermittent Vertigo,
swollen joints that were so painful I couldn’t move them,
tendons that pulled my fingers in to make a claw,
unexplained rashes
and the need to stop driving to have a sleep on the way home from work.
When you work in a school it’s easy to think feeling unwell is an inevitable symptom of stress and part of getting older! But the changes I have experienced since taking the USANA products you recommended have shown me it’s not stress or getting older, it’s nutrition. I just wasn’t getting enough of what my body needed.
I noticed a difference within 2 days of taking the nutritional supplements. Honestly, for me it was that instant. I’m massively thankful. It is just so incredible to be several months on now and pain free, sleeping better than I ever have, waking up more easily and not needing to spend 15 mins in the shower every morning trying to make my eyes open. I have more energy and mental clarity and I know I am more ‘on my game’ at work than I have been in years. Thank you again.” Inclusion Manager
If you want to explore what might help you thrive then get in touch.
SO many of you will already know that after 10 years of continuous work as a children’s therapist, often working with very complex cases, I have been on a sabbatical from my direct clinical work. Have I been sitting around twiddling thumbs for the last year? Umm No. Much of the advisory, consultancy and training work has continued (albeit at a slower pace).
HOWEVER, I knew the lack of contact time with children would leave me some space mentally and emotionally… so for the last year I have been volunteering as a Puppy Socialiser for Dogs for Good. They are a fantastic charity training assistance dogs to help change peoples lives. I totally love what they are about, and although puppies are obviously gorgeous, I thought long and hard before getting involved as socialising a puppy is like long-term fostering…
My time with Hinton is not over yet, but already I have learnt so much about how to help puppies learn, grow and thrive in a way that feeds their body and soul. So much of what I have learnt about working with dogs has resonated with me as it is from the same philosophy I have been working from when working with children over all these years.
This is the first in a series of short videos (I don’t know how many more there will be yet – it largely depends on what you think of them!). I will share some of the insights I have around the similarities of working with dogs and children.
Hinton is big for his age. So are many children. And even those who are physically similar to their peers, may not be at the same emotional age. Have a watch and see what you think.
Have you come across this before?
Do you know children who struggle with being expected to be more mature than they are because of their size?
Do you know how to respond to a child who seems to not be as emotionally developed as they are physically?
I’d love to hear what you think about this – I think it happens more than we think. So let’s get the conversation going – feel free to scroll right down and comment below.
Also feel free to pass it on to anyone you know who might be helped by this in anyway. Hinton loves helping people… share his story and do let him know if he made a difference 😉
… And if you want to read another blog about this concept of physical and emotional age not correlating and one reason behind it, and what it looked like for a child I worked with then click here. Until next time… x
Before I get on with follow-up emails for everyone I saw this morning, I wanted to take a moment to write and officially thank you.
I want to thank you for the way you are choosing to lead your school.
Thank you for making time and allowing your staff to have access to training around Essential Health and Safety – thereal things everyone needs to know if they are working in a school.
Thank you for allowing them to have time and space to consider themselves in the busyness of school life, and especially end-of-term-itis.
Thank you too, for allowing me to provide initial, confidential follow-up chats with all those that wanted them – during school time.
I recognise that not many other schools out there are doing this, and yet you are making decisions based on your children’s best interests – and you understand that that inherently means the well-being of your staff first and foremost.
I know this way of working may seem like a somewhat ‘different’ approach, as many schools are expecting their staff to cope with the stress, manage themselves, be calm around the children, continue to function at a high level and all without the real information they need to understand HOW to do this.
Obviously what people choose to do with information is their own choice. I just want to acknowledge and thank you for giving your staff the chance to gain more understanding, and have wider choices around supporting their own resilience and well-being.
I thought you might like to know that these comments were all said to me in the 1:1s yesterday and today, or in emails since then:-
“I am so grateful to have this time to think about myself…”
“Just talking to you now I realise that….”
“What you were talking about the other day really connected with me, and I am so glad you are still here to help us with support if we want it – you haven’t just abandoned us.”
“I know it is time to make some changes…”
“That’s a really good idea – I think I could do that…”
“That other lady you were talking about last week…the teacher… I got all of that… she was just like me.”
“That quiz you gave us really made me stop and look at what is happening… what it is like for me.”
“Thank you so much for your time and help.”
“Thank you for spending the time with us all over the past couple of days – I know people have found the discussions valuable. ”
“After our talk I went home and had a really honest conversation with….”
“Thank you for your support – I already feel more positive.”
“Thank you for my session today. I really enjoyed chatting to you. I will have a look at the extra info you have sent me and be in touch asap to take the next step.”
We all know that who we are as people is what makes the biggest impact on the children. I am thoroughly grateful to be able to partner with a school like yours. Children, Health and Emotional Wellbeing ARE all connected and I know you understand this.
I look forward to the ongoing journey we will all make together.
All the best
Claire Wilson
Clinical Director
CHEW Initiatives
Children, Health & Emotional Wellbeing…. because it’s all connected.
I don’t think I have ever shared direct words from any of my clients before. I have thought long and hard about doing it now, and the reason I am sharing what this incredible boy wrote as part of our closing process, was because HE wanted it shared. The idea that his experience can inspire school staff to know that children can change, was really important to him. The idea that others – even adults – who still find themselves journeying through PTSD, could be encouraged by his words and his journey was equally important.
“Since working with Claire I have changed in many different ways. I have changed the way I act around people. I have changed the way I see things. Everyday I think about how much Claire has helped me come to be who I always tried to be, how I don’t try to be any body, I don’t even try to be myself – I just be the person I am.
I used to say the words PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) like I had to say it or like I had to make everybody know that I have PTSD, however now I have changed. I no longer wear a badge that says ‘I have PTSD’ because I don’t. I am not ashamed of having had PTSD nor am I proud. I don’t think about PTSD and I havent even spoke about it in so long because I don’t need to anymore. I feel free from and unleashed from the horrible badge called PTSD.
My time with Claire has been an unforgettable experience and has been a roller coaster, not always easy and not always fun, but for sure it’s one of those one-time life-time changing experiences you just can’t say no to.”
Boy, aged 12,Shared with permission – as he hoped it might encourage others with PTSD that things can change.
I love, love, love it when we give a child the right level of nutrients their body needs. The changes that can come from this simple step are sometimes quietly significant, and sometimes they are so massive they make me want to shout from the rooftops!
I just got this feedback from one of my team who has been supporting a mum in getting the right levels of right quality nutrients for her eldest boy who is still pre-school (just)! Another fabulous example of how a child’s nutrition affects their being and therefore their behaviour.
” It was a rocky beginning, but he has been taking his special vitamins every day since beginning of January (7 weeks). Now, he asks for them every morning and puts the next one out for the following day.
What have I noticed? The whole day is ‘less of a battle.’
He seems to listen more and take in what I’m saying.
He seems to have settled down overnight, e.g. before xmas I wouldn’t have dreamed of going into Tesco with him, let alone with my baby as well, granted I don’t do a full shop but I wouldn’t of even stepped through the door before.
I will now walk to the park with him on his bike, something I didn’t think I would do for a long time!
He even asks for his dinner, I couldn’t get him to sit still before, never mind eat!! A trip to McDonald’s with the boys is stress free! We had also stopped going out for meals because of the stress, but we’ve been out twice in the last month and it’s been a joy!
We are now looking forward to our holiday as a family!!
Any professional play therapist working in a school or other setting will have a set of procedures that their colleagues know to follow if, for any reason, they cannot be there unexpectedly.
I went through my procedures with every single school who referred children to me, during the pre-clinical phase of setting up work with each child.
The sessions with this particular client had taken a while to get set up; the meeting with school was ok, but the parent meeting got scheduled and cancelled twice before we changed tack and the school got Dad’s consent and initial SDQ completed over the phone.
I was just 3 weeks in, and already had a special place in my professional heart for this street-savvy boy. With a background of pain and chaos, I remember him still being too cool for school, but starting to open up to the possibility of a relationship – enough to ask me about my experiences and what I thought about stuff…
It was early days, but it was looking good, and I was hopeful.
Then I was ill.
A special combo of laryngitis and pharyngitis had me in bed with no voice and feeling rubbish. I had a week off work. I made the necessary calls and emails, I did everything I could to let the key people for each of my clients know it was time to follow the procedure I had outlined at the start of my work.
This was the only occasion where for whatever reason, the message I left didn’t get passed on. I understand that schools are busy places. I know that school staff on average deal with a million or a billion, (or is it a bazillion?!) things each day. I know that even with the best intentions, it is easy for things to get missed. It is just a shame that this was the thing.
It got missed. The message didn’t get passed on, The child was brought to the venue by his support worker. They couldn’t get in. There was no answer to their knocking.
I can only imagine, what that experience may have been like for him.
This woman who he had started to like and started to trust, was suddenly not there for him. He didn’t know why. He would likely have felt stupid, but that would have been the least of it. The sense of abandonment, confusion, shame, anger and bewilderment may have been acute. His special Gran had died 2 months before, and his mum – an addict – had left him years before. My sudden absence; the hat trick confirming to him that women leave you and that people are not to be trusted.
When I came back to work the next week, unaware of what had happened (some schools’ communication with external workers is truly stunning), expecting him to turn up for his session….now I was the one left waiting. It turned out he was digging his heels in at school and refusing to come. They didn’t know why– ‘he’s been fine every other week’.
He agreed to come the week after, and told me that he was not coming any more. We explored a good enough crisis ending. He heard my apology for not being there, my understanding that it must have been horrible for him and my sadness that the message I had left for him never got to him, which he seemed to hear… But his mind was set. This was the end and I didn’t blame him.
I have often thought about him since. Wondering if he has had opportunity to find someone who he feels safe enough with to develop a therapeutic process and start to heal his pain? Wondering what might have happened if my illness had occurred further into our therapeutic journey when we had established a stronger relationship – strong enough to work through what the experience meant for him? Wondering what would have happened if I had not been ill?
I know it is unrealistic to expect that we can never be ill. However, I do believe that those of us in jobs where we work with hurting children, have a duty of care to ensure we are doing all we can to ensure our health is as optimal as it can be. It is not just about minimizing the time we are off work, but reducing time when we are there in body, but not physically able to be fully present with them, distracted by coughing, pain, etc. Children always know if we are ‘not normal’, and it often worries them. And obviously, no-one appreciates the germ spreaders – self care when we are ill has to be a priority for all sorts of reasons. Who we are always has an impact on the children we work with.
Things to Consider
? DOES your setting have procedures that are clearly followed when a visiting practitioner can no longer attend a session but a child is expecting them?
? DO the staff in your setting understand the impact their absence can have on certain children? (and let’s be honest -some will be thrilled if it means they don’t have to do PE or music or that test or whatever else… but others really will be wobbling inside).
? DO your admin/office staff understand the importance of their part in information sharing in these circumstances?
? DO you ever consider if a child has had a strange behaviour episode – whether it may be related to someone they connect with being away?
