Oct 18, 2017 | Children, Food, Health, Resources, Sleep, Uncategorized
Children are amazing.
They have incredible persistence, creative thinking, problem solving skills and they LOVE tackling a challenge…especially one that adults have failed to conquer. 😉
So what?
So, why don’t we remember this when it comes to getting them taking their vitamins?
There is a larger issue at work here, which I need to mention. One of the strands in the current crisis in health care in the western world is dis-empowerment. We have learnt to dis-empower ourselves and give all power to doctors. We have learnt that health means doing what I am told to do. Taking what I’m told to take, regardless of the reasons, regardless of the side effects, regardless of how I feel about it, or want I think about it. This is a very dis-empowered place. It is a very disconnected place. We disconnect from our bodies, and so we disconnect from our ‘selves’.
Now hear me on this. I do NOT think doctors are a waste of time. No. The best doctors are those who empower their patients with understanding and a voice. Sadly many, especially those in General Practice, don’t have time for that, so it comes back to “what’s wrong? Take this pill to feel better.” [Maybe this is a blog for another time, but I see a strong correlation here to the dis-empowered place that we nurture in kids… one which progresses into them being on the playground, club, alley way, or party and are so used to just putting any pill in their mouth when they are told to without question or discernment…]
So what does this have to do with children and vitamins?
If we want to do our own tiny little bit in helping change this and make cultural shift in our own homes, we need to start by helping children connect with their bodies and utilise all their amazingness to empower them to look after their own body.
When it comes to taking off-the-shelf vitamins, children often just do it because they are so laden with sugar that it is effectively like you are asking them to take a sweet daily: no problem! 🙂 The nutritional integrity of a supplement where the first or second listed ingredient is some form of sugar is always, in my mind, to be questioned.
However, if you ask children to take a top quality nutritional supplement, like the only one I recommend and use, one where the integrity of the product; the ingredients, the actual science and health-based reason for creating that supplement, haven’t been sacrificed on the alter of sweetness and the taste-buds of a generation of sugar-addicted children, then they may, possibly say “no”.
[**Incidentally if you want to know the difference or find out if you are wasting money on sweets or getting the real deal, The Nutrisearch Comparative Guide to Nutritional Supplements helps anyone get clear on which are quality products and which are not.**]
So what do we do?
- Do we let their bodies continue the mission of surviving in this day and age without the extra resources they desperately need?
- Do we allow our conflict-averse selves to believe that they can get everything they need from their food alone (a belief as outdated as ‘computers will never be in every home’).
- Do we try the stealth-ninja technique and hide crushed up tablets in smoothies, yogurt and juice and act all normal, expecting them not to notice? – well, maybe if the children are too small or they really don’t notice.
There is another way. It is a better way. A way that gets me emails of delight from parents celebrating their kids accomplishments (and their children’s pride in themselves) when they follow these 7 simple steps.
7 Simple Steps to Get Children Taking their Vitamins
1. ROLE MODEL – don’t expect your children to do something that you are not doing. If you expect your kids to take vitamins when you don’t, they may be getting a message that it’s ok for them but not for you – that they need it, you don’t – that there is something wrong with them. When a parent leads the way, children quickly watch, learn, follow and a culture of everyone moving towards health gets created.
2. TEACH them, at their level, why it is important to take extra vitamins/ antioxidants/ micro-nutrients. If you need help with this ask.
3. EXPLAIN BENEFITS to them – just some ways these vitamins will help their body in ways that are relevant to them, e.g. help your brain work better, help you be faster at running, help your body stay strong when there are germs around.
4. ACKNOWLEDGE you understand if they don’t like the taste. No matter what it tastes like to your palette, theirs is different. If they think it doesn’t actually taste great, you pretending like it does, or tell them ‘it’s not that bad’ can feel dishonest and like you don’t understand them.
5. ISSUE THE CHALLENGE “I’ve been thinking of how to get these in your body, but I haven’t come up with anything great. So it’s over to you. I challenge you to figure out a way to get them in you. They don’t have to taste nice, you don’t have to love them, I just wonder if you can figure out something I couldn’t – figure out how you could take them?”
6. WALK AWAY and leave them to it (age and safety dependent obviously). Children need the neo-cortex part of their brain to problem solve. When they are feeling under pressure from scrutiny, that part actually shuts off. So give them space, remove all pressure and leave them to it.
7. CELEBRATE when they tell you they’ve cracked it… big deal whoops, high-fives or a low-key 1 sentence if that’s what they prefer, but acknowledge their good job on using their persistence, problem solving, creative thinking and the fact they have found a way to help their body even better than you.
When children feel empowered and curious their resources are unlimited.
Children can do more than we think.
Don’t believe me?
It’s true.
Want proof?
Want to see more on what children can really do when given space to figure things out for themselves ? Watch this TEDx talk.
Claire Wilson
Clinical Director
CHEW Initiatives
Sep 12, 2017 | Emotional Wellbeing, Food, Health, Resources
I love Thai food.
I am currently doing the CHEW Trim Down together with a bunch of lovely parents and professionals, and when I shared this creation in our fb group the requests for the recipe came in. Easier said than done as really I just played in my kitchen, made it up as I went along and surprisingly created… this dish of deliciousness!
The focus of the CHEW Trim Down program is on resourcing the body with what it really needs and as far as food goes, being intentionally intelligent about the food we eat: food that nourishes bodies and minds. This dish does it – low GI, colourful, taste sensations and adaptable to your own level of spice-tolerance.
Ingredients – adjust depending on how many (and how hungry) people you want to feed!
- red onion (1/2) sliced v v thin
- yellow pepper (1/2) sliced v v thin
- orange pepper (1/4) sliced v v thin
- celery (1 stick) chopped into 1 inch pieces and sliced v v thin
- garlic (3 cloves) crushed
- ginger (1 inch) chopped very small (use powdered if you don’t have the real deal – although real is always best 😉 )
- chilli – chopped very small or dried chilli flakes (to taste)
- coconut oil
- fish stock cube (1 – GF)
- coconut milk (1/2 can)
- thai fish sauce (tiny bit!!)
- carrot (1 per person) Spiralized with a Julienne Peeler
- prawns (1/2 small packet)
- mango (1/2 per person) cubed
What I did
- Get ready! Act like a TV chef and get everything chopped, sliced and ready to go before you start. This takes some time, but once the pan is on, it is quick going.
- Heat 1 knob of coconut oil in a casserole – type pan. When melted, add the ginger, garlic and chillies if you are using them. Cook + stir spices together for about 1 minute.
- Add the sliced veg to the spices and cook for about 1-2 minutes until they just begin to soften but are still crunchy.
- Pour in the coconut milk and stir as it heats up. Mix the fish stock cube with a small amount of boiling water and add this to the pan.
- Add a dash of the Thai fish sauce – (I have learnt from past experience always to pour it into the lid then into the pan… straight from the bottle into pan seems to ask for trouble as a little goes a long way!)
- Heat more coconut oil in a separate small frying pan and saute the Julienned carrot for 2-3 minutes until bendy. You can sprinkle with toasted sesame seeds if you have them.
- Add the prawns to the pot and warm through in the liquid concoction. Just before serving add the mango chunks too.
- Either mix the carrot into the big pot and serve all mixed together, or put it in a bowl with ladles of the laksa on top.
- ENJOY!!!
Enjoy each and every mouthful – savour the moment.
WOW!! Looks full of light and fun and scrummm!!
Yes, yes it is. x
P.S. Want to know more about the CHEW Trim Down? Get in touch
May 12, 2017 | Children, Emotional Wellbeing, Health, Resources, Sleep, Uncategorized
Last time I mentioned the number one mistake that parents make over and over again when it comes to children who are scared about going to bed. You can read it again here.
When we stop and think about it. No one would want a child to be scared in their own home. There are sadly, way too many children who understandably find bedtime incredibly scary for all the wrong reasons – but supporting children who have been through trauma is for our next and final blog in this sleep series.
Right now, I am thinking about all the children who don’t want to go to bed and find it hard to sleep because of their room. By day their room can be their favourite place to be. By night, it can become their worst.
If you have used the communication script (downloaded from the last blog) to really connect with your child through their fear, instead of isolating them and forcing them to deal with it on their own, then you may have found out that the reason they don’t want to go to bed is because they are scared.
For many children, they are scared about things under their bed, things in the cupboard, things behind the curtains, or outside the window. Children can be scared of anything – the dark, sights, sounds or even smells, and we don’t help them if we judge or belittle those fears.
The worst thing to do is to tell your child there is ‘no need to be scared’.
You are the grown up. You would just reinforce that grown-ups know everything and you think they are being silly/stupid. Your child will hear a message from you that ‘being scared is wrong’. In fact that can get extrapolated into believing that any of their uncomfortable feelings are wrong. None of the parents I have worked with have wanted their child to feel that way – but still it can be hard to know how to respond for their best.
What if there was one conversation – with just a few simple things that you can say, that could change the whole thing?
The good news is there is. It is a magic conversation. What is really interesting is that it wont be YOU doing the unlocking. Time and time again, I have found children have the answers inside them to overcome these bedroom fears – all they need is someone to help them with some presence, empathy, understanding, belief and good questions.
Get the magic communication for bedroom fears by clicking the box below.
Communication Cues to Overcome Bedroom Fears. Get FREE download here
This amazing technique will build a closer bond between you and your child, increase their pride and their sense of empowerment... Oh and likely will help them sleep much better too 😉
This conversation, when done right, has been like magic in many scary bedrooms of children I have supported over the years. Do let me know how it goes in your house.
Did you miss the previous Blogs in the SLEEP SERIES?
Sleep 101 – 3 Essential Foundations for a Better Bedtime
Sleep 201 – Fighting the REAL ENEMY + the number 1 mistake parents make around bedtime fears
Sleep 401 – about nightmares and sleep trouble after trauma – is coming very soon! People on the mailing list will get notified when it is posted. Want it too? You can sign up here.
Apr 28, 2017 | Children, Emotional Wellbeing, Food, Health, Resources, Uncategorized
Sometimes parents or education professionals feel overwhelmed.
It can be so easy to have stuff going on and feel like you don’t know which way to turn, what to do for the best, or even what the real options are.
Whether it’s about you, your child, or something else, your family and friends – if you have the courage to talk to them – will no doubt give you lots of opinions (!) but may find it hard to give you sound, un-biased advice.
And yet sometimes just 1 significant conversation can be all you need to get clarity, courage or confidence for your next step.
That’s when it could be time for your : 1 significant conversation.
Private
Confidential
Caring
Professional
Honest
FREE
- Feel like you have things going on and would really love to talk it through and be heard by someone who actually gets it?
- Wish there was a way of getting an independent, expert, professional opinion from someone who has your (and your child’s) best interest at heart?
- Wish you could get some support to help you clarify what your options are and which is your best next step?
- Wish you could speak to someone – off the record – so it wont get back to the school playground or staff room.
Now you CAN.
Hi Claire
Thank you so much for the opportunity to chat with you and share my story.
Not only was it really helpful to talk things through and discuss my families difficulties but the suggestions you made and your perspective of what may be triggering certain reactions in our family was really insightful.
I feel really empowered by our conversation.
Thank you again
Kate
“Sounds just what I need – WHAT DO I DO now?”
If you want to take advantage of a FREE 30 minute SIGNIFICANT CONVERSATION with CHEW Initiatives Director, Claire Wilson, then fill in the form below and we will be in touch to arrange a convenient time.
NB : There are only a limited number of Conversations available each week, so bare in mind, you may not be able to get one immediately.
[contact-form to=’info@chewinitiatives.com’ subject=’FREE Consultation request’][contact-field label=’Name’ type=’name’ required=’1’/][contact-field label=’Email’ type=’email’ required=’1’/][contact-field label=’Phone’ type=’url’/][contact-field label=’My best time to chat is : Day time / Evening (Please note, weekends are not available) ‘ type=’text’/][contact-field label=’A bit about my situation (married, single parent, adoptive parent, number and ages of children, working etc) ‘ type=’textarea’ required=’1’/][contact-field label=’What I would like to chat about is…’ type=’textarea’ required=’1’/][/contact-form]
Mar 22, 2017 | Children, Emotional Wellbeing, Health, Resources, School, Sleep, Uncategorized
Many, many children go through a stage in their development when they don’t like going to bed, and the reasons can be many and varied.
Parents often tell me their children are generally fine and ‘the behaviour’ only begins when it is time to start the bedtime routine.
One dad I spoke to described in detail the battle that ensued between him and his daughter. Her delaying tactics were many and varied (and quite standard repertoire); refusing to go up the stairs; refusing to get into bed; distraction techniques; food requests; drink requests and refusing to sleep without the light on.
He was annoyed that it was such a palava and cross that she wouldn’t just do what she was told and go to bed/sleep.
I have had this same conversation many times with mums too, over the years.
When I asked him why his daughter didn’t like going to bed, he looked at me blankly.
It was a question he didn’t have the answer to.
He had never stopped to find out.
Like so many parents, he was getting sucked into the ‘bed-time-battle’, thinking that this un-cooperative child was the foe to be avenged, for the prize of a quiet evening and some child-free time.
This picture is so common it is scary.
Scary? Because it means there are so many children resisting going to bed for reasons only they know. If no one else knows then they are not being understood and not being helped emotionally or practically, they are alone with the thing that is the REAL enemy. Their real challenge.
Solutions and sleep come quicker when parents and children join forces and work together.
I’m sure you have noticed, but the middle of a battle of wills between an adult and child is never a good time to ask the child what they are scared of. If they know you are already wound up (and angry with them) then they will not feel safe to tell you the truth about their anxiety.
Much better progress can be made if this conversation happens at a time when both adult and child are calm and doing something else together and bedtime is not imminent.
Want to know exactly what to say and how to say it,
to get the breakthrough you both need?
CLICK THIS BOX and get your free version of the script I give to parents.
Communiction Cues to End Bed-Time Battles. Get FREE download here
If you get to the point where your child actually tells you what is bothering them, then YOU MUST UNDERSTAND how brave they have been to tell you. At this point there is one MAJOR MISTAKE parents often make.
MISTAKE: Tell the child there is nothing to be scared of.
Remember your child plucked up all their courage to risk telling you what scares them (if they had found it easy to tell you in the first place you wouldn’t have had weeks or months of bed time battle) and now you are telling them they are wrong or stupid to be scared about that. This leaves children feeling wrong, stupid and still scared – as no one stopped being scared about something just by being told to not be scared. What TO say and do is coming soon in another post. For now just make sure you STOP and LISTEN and really HEAR them and try to imagine what it might feel like for them to have had this fear they have carried on their own and getting lots of anger from you because they couldn’t handle it alone.
Communiction Cues to End Bed-Time Battles. Get FREE download here
Previous Blogs in this Sleep Series
Sleep 101 – Essential Foundations for Good Quality Sleep
Sleep 301 and 401 coming soon!
Dec 6, 2016 | Children, Emotional Wellbeing, Resources, School, Trauma
Hinton loves routine.
Post morning run – Kong bliss before sleep…
He really does.
He has always had a sensitive temperament.
Routine helps him know where he is, what is coming next, and he likes that.
We are at the stage now where he knows there is a period of time to wait (for digestion) between breakfast and going for his run – he will come to wherever I am and lie down patiently.
He knows once I start getting my boots on or getting his walking bag together the next thing is going out the door – so he goes to the front door and sits there waiting for me.
He knows when we are back what comes next – drink, chill and stuffed frozen kong on his bed, then sleep. As we follow this routine on the vast majority of days, he is a chilled, happy, peaceful pup. IF he is asked to do something different – he will do it, but it is not too long before his confusion can become worry. I know his face and body language and behaviour languages well. I know how it can unsettle him.
AND SO IT IS… with children.
For so many children, this time of year in school is a blast – off the ‘lesson timetable’ – no spelling tests – (extra) fun versions of numeracy and lots of trips to the hall for practices… and a chance to shine at singing or acting or…
For those who are more sensitive, those who maybe quieter, those who need routine to help them feel like the world (in school at least) is safe and predictable, this can be the complete opposite.
TIPS for making these days a bit easier for everyone
- Staff need to acknowledge this time of year is fun of some and hard for others.
Get it out in the open (without making children identify outwardly which they are – because if they find it hard and their friends love it, you have just made it EVEN harder).
“Some of us really like to know what is happening every day – and when we do the same things every day we always know what is coming next. The next few days in school might be a bit tricky because things are not the usual routine we have done so far this term… but there are many things that ARE Going to stay the same.”
- Have a daily class meeting – with visual timetable so everyone knows what is coming up. For those really anxious children, going through this at the end of the day before will help, so they know what they are coming too in school the next day. NB Don’t say anything you can’t promise to happen…
- Remind everyone that they can come and tell you or other support staff if they are worried or would like to know about anything. (Don’t assume they will just do this – often they won’t).
- Watch for the worry, confusion, anxiety behaviours. Do you know what these are? How well can you spot them? How well do you know those children?
- Point out all the things that are staying the same in the day: (break time, lunch time, intervention groups, dinner ladies etc)
- Consider that any behaviour that emerges through these weeks, could be an expression of anxiety about less school routine OR worry about Christmas and the long holiday gap away from school support. Let’s find out if holiday worry is a factor in behaviour before we decide how much telling off this child needs?
- Have SLT in school and support staff and pastoral staff off their group timetables as much as possible to be available to pick up and support those children who need closer contact during these days.
- Having simple, practical jobs to do with, or without adult support can help to focus a worried brain and provide a small sense of control and achievement at a time when inside they might feel like drowning in emotions.
- Be aware that many children will have been told that their behaviour at school will be seen by Santa (or the Elf) and affect whether they get any presents. (This is not made up – just last week I spoke to a whole bunch of 6 year olds who are living this.)
