May 2, 2015 | Children, Emotional Wellbeing, Health, Inspiration, Real Life Stories, School, testimonial, Uncategorized
That feeling of getting through a day in school with all the usual demands?
That feeling of getting through a day in school with all the usual demands AND feeling like you are coming down with (or already have) something?
You might be interested to read this – sent in from one of the SLT teachers who had asked for CHEW recommendations to support her health.
I’ve been taking the products you recommended to me back in December for 4 months.
And I’m happy to report I’ve got through a twelve week term with only one sore throat 🙂
(Decquacaine and Chloraseptic usually got me through the day when my tonsils started reacting but I haven’t needed any. My one episode of a sore throat lasted a day and went after gargling with salt water. Brilliant!)
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It’s very unusual for me not to have sore throats, ear aches and streaming colds through the term – and we have had a particularly awful term of school bugs!
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- Slapped cheek,
- hand, foot and mouth,
- shingles,
- whooping cough,
- scarlet fever,
- flu,
- tonsillitis and
- chicken pox to name but a few. [Ed – a few??!!]
- With a really nasty D & V bug going through school as well as
- the usual viral and
- bacterial infections
….the immune systems of our staff and children have taken a battering.
So I’m pleased and relieved to be able to say that I haven’t been ill this term 🙂
Since I’ve been dutifully taking my nutritional products I’ve managed to avoid any time off work, and haven’t had to ‘push-through’ at work either.
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Our school has recently academised and gone through a very stressful time of change for the staff which should also have taken it’s toll on me… But I appear to be the only member of staff who hasn’t had a day off since then. Hmmm… Go figure!
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So I just wanted to thank you for your recommendations and let you know I will continue to take these nutritionals and enjoy the consequences!
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Apr 24, 2015 | Children, Emotional Wellbeing, School, Trauma, Uncategorized
If I say Year 6 – you’d say…. ?
Around this time of year…most school staff would say SATS (or it would at least be in the top 5 answers if we were playing Family Fortunes!!)
So yes, in a few weeks time thousands of children across the country will be sat in silence taking their SATS, other tests or exams and teachers everywhere will be nervous and suffering from I-didn’t-sleep-well-itis.
This is not going to be a comment on what I think of SATS or testing children. There is no need for that.
What is clear is that in the next 3 weeks there is no chance of the system changing, so it is inevitable. These tests will happen. Teachers will be feeling sick as the results of these tests can become part of their performance appraisal… And Heads and other SLT teachers know these results can become part of their (schools) performance appraisal…
I had some time with a boy in year 6 recently. Yes he was pensive, more thoughtful and reserved than the weeks before Easter… And yes SATS is certainly one of the things in his mind. However, it was not the only thing.
HIS perspective:-
- SATS are scary – because they make everyone get stressed – teachers mostly (some parents included).
- They are important.
- Even when adults say that we don’t need to get worried, I can tell that they are, ‘cos they just are different -stressed.
- Other children might distract me…and I don’t know if my teacher can keep them quiet.
- In our practice tests I couldn’t answer some of the questions because my teacher didn’t have any rulers/ protractors….I hope she will have found some by then.
- SATS are straight forward.
- If I get things wrong then I don’t get marks.
- If I get things right, and do right spellings I will get good marks.
- If I can finish then I stand a better chance of getting good marks.
- I want to do well… For my Dad.
- I want to do well….because I know I can.
His teachers (and I imagine they might be being echoed by staff and parents up and down the country) have been talking about trips and outdoor activities and all sorts of ‘fun’ things they have planned for the children to do in the days and weeks after SATS are over. Rewards. Celebrations. FUN. For this young man, THIS is the real source of his worry at the moment.
How so – shouldn’t he just be excited and grateful for all the nice things being planned for him?
- It is the knowing that a time of unpredictability is coming up….
- The boundaries and clarity about what happens when, that currently help him feel safe, are going to change…
- Lots of spontaneous and off-timetable things taking him by surprise…
- And knowing that other children in his class REALLY struggle with change, means he will be in a room with more unpredictable behaviours…
- Then there are the particular outdoor ed. challenges he is already tackling – battling with his fear over and over in his mind.
- That is fear he is trying hard to keep to himself…
- Can’t let other people know the things the teachers keep talking about as fun are actually more scary to him than the SATS…
I think he has a great perspective on the SATS – maybe that is easier to do when you have already clocked up a significant ACE score, and survived years of trauma nightmare. Maybe you can keep things a bit more in perspective when you have faced terror more times than you can count – with or without a ruler…and survived…and healed enough to realise what is important in life. And in all honestly, he has moved a long way into his land of healing.
There will be others out there trying to deal with the tests, their own and everybody else’s stress of SATS, on top of everything else they have going on just trying to survive…
Despite what we adults might assume / project.. it might be that the SATS / exams aren’t the only thing on the minds of children at the moment.
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Mar 24, 2015 | Children, Emotional Wellbeing, Play Therapy, Resources, School, Trauma, Uncategorized
What happens when a child is clearly really struggling in school?
Their behaviour changes; maybe they get more withdrawn, or more aggressive. Maybe they stop communicating or start shouting. They become explosive or hard to reach at all.
They become unpredictable…and it can be really hard to know what to do for the best..
So here is my question…
What happens when a child is really struggling in school?
…and I am not meaning with the child.
Experience has shown me that when things get really tricky with a child in school (and it happens in the nicest of schools from time to time), it causes an increase in staff stress. It is understandable. It is hard to be with a child when you don’t know what they might do next, when you don’t understand what is making them tick…or what is making them boom.
In your school when this happens with a child maybe it is time to stop and check-in with the list below…
1. Consider that 1 child may be being dealt with by up to 8+ people… 
who may include Learning mentor, CFSW, Teacher/s, Class TA, Senco, Deputy and or Head, and then any external professionals…
For children who are already struggling this many interactions or number of adults involved directly with them, increases the amount of people they need to ‘work out’. It actually increases their sense of needing to be on alert, and keeps their nervous system activated at such a level that explosions can happen easily from one seemingly small trigger.
2. Every one of the above adults may each have an increase of their own emotions around what is happening.
Anxiety at what might happen next, fear about how they may be criticized or regarded for not being able to ‘control’ the child, anger at what other staff do or don’t do, mixed with emotional and physical exhaustion (these kind of times can start to affect sleep)… Etc etc.
Every one of these internalised emotions will change each of the adults nervous system activation. The child will sense the tension in the individuals they spend time with as well as any lack of unity or respect between the adults and again this fuels their sense of not being safe. Another way of looking at it is the way children get nervous when they know things are not ok between their parents or close family members. They don’t have to hear disagreements or shouting to know things are not all ok… And ‘things are not ok between my special adults who look after me’ also means ‘I am not safe’.
3. Each of these adults will have their own take on what needs to happen.
If there is no cohesive and shared understanding of what is going on with this child and why they are behaving like this, then each adult will start to chip in their own ideas as to what needs to happen.
Very quickly the struggling child now has several different changes happening and may or may not understand why, may or may not feel happy with the changes and may be caught in the middle of mis (or non) -communication between the various adult parties and their various new ideas for how things should be. This can so easily add to their sense of being out of control and too much change. If it doesn’t help increase their sense of safety, it will almost certainly significantly DECREASE it…leading to more of the ‘I’m struggling’ behaviour.
4. Children can be complex. They can also be incredibly straightforward. There will always be a reason for a change in behaviour.
At times like this it is so important for a school staff ‘sub-team’-around-a-child to be contained, well led, clearly guided, trained-up and brought together to work as a complete container for the child. If it is not clear to those in school as to what is going on and why, then it can be really helpful to get an outside perspective. But not one that only looks at the behaviour!
The home background may be a significant factor and if the child is not understood in light of this then the child is not understood.
The issue may be something in school.
The issue may be a combination of home and school dynamics.
The issue may be finally they are no longer able to keep a lid on their previously internalised feelings about something that happened to them a while ago (that others may have forgotten or thought didn’t affect them).
When a child is struggling it can be really easy to put all the attention and focus on the child and changing them. The big unspoken desire of the adult – collective involved is often for the behaviour to just stop. This focus may mean missing out noticing some of the key ways a child is being helped or hindered by school staff, through a difficult time. Above all, children and adults want and need to feel safe.
Qu: What needs to happen to increase that sense of safety during the school day?
Ans. child:……………………………………………………………
Ans. each key adult involved:………………………………………………………………………
Further Questions to Consider If/When this situation arises
- Is the reason for the behaviour or why the child is struggling clearly understood by anyone?
- Who are the adults in daily contact with the child & family?
- Is the behaviour understood in light of the reason by all the adults in daily contact with the child?
- How is this situation making each of the adults feel?
- Is there clarity as to how the adults and their emotions and subconscious feelings and thoughts might be affecting their own behaviour, their nervous system and the child?
- Is there clarity as to what helps this child feel safe?
- What do the key adults need to help them feel safer (ie to lower their own nervous system activation?)
- Are all adults briefed and agreed together before any new changes are brought in?
- How is the communication between these staff?
- How is the sense of respect, team and being on the same page between staff?
- Who and how and when is this sub-team around the child being supported / contained through this time?
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Feb 14, 2015 | Children, Emotional Wellbeing, School, Trauma, Uncategorized
NEW DATE – Sept 21st, 2016 – In Partnership with Pye Green Academy….
If you work in a school with children or young people then it is likely that some of them have experienced trauma…and may still be in a state of post traumatic stress, which will be affecting their ability to learn and their behaviour.
I have come to know a fair bit about trauma… through my therapeutic training and over 10 years experience, Masters research and real life lessons! From this combination of knowledge and real-lived experience I want to help more professionals understand how trauma impacts a child and what to do to help them.
Would it be helpful for your staff team to get some more understanding on what this all really means? To learn together about the impact traumatic experiences can have on children and what they can be doing to help these children have a better experience in school?
NEXT COURSE :
Wednesday September 21st, 2016 4-6pm
Pye Green Academy, Rose Hill, Hednesford, STAFFS. WS12 4RT
It is really exciting to be delivering this course again in partnership with PYE GREEN ACADEMY, who are hosting the evening. They have ALL been through this training and found it so helpful they are making it available to other local schools. We have had extra special feedback from staff who have attended together and been able to reflect throughout the training what it means for their school / phase / year group…so you will notice schools wanting to send more than 1 person will receive better value all round. Bring a car load of staff, get a greater impact for your school AND get the bargain price. You will be so pleased you did. Crucial info is downloadable below.
PS They have a lovely hall – but it won’t fit everyone, so if you want to book places, best to get it done ASAP.
Crucial Information : EVENT FLYER Booking Form (Word)
Course: Introduction to UNDERSTANDING TRAUMA for STAFF TEAMS
This training course can be tailored and delivered as an INSET session or twilight. It gives anyone working with children a great foundation of understanding trauma, the impact for children, insight into what life might be like in their shoes and how best to help them.
Many schools have appreciated learning this with SLT, teachers, LSAs, pastoral and other support staff together.
[To arrange this course in your school or area PLEASE GET IN TOUCH]
If you have any other questions, just let us know.
Here is what some others have said about this course:
- Staff were still coming up to me and thanking me for arranging this for days afterwards… this is NOT USUAL for a twilight session!
- Really enjoyed this and learnt lots. Thank you. – Especially as I didn’t know much before hand.
- It made me realise I have experienced trauma – it made me think and I could relate a lot to this. We need this training in school.
- Very informative and kept my attention throughout. I enjoyed the training and feel much more confident now in understanding PTSD.
- I found it to be very interesting and informative and certainly learnt a lot and realize connections to ch in class.
- BRILLIANT!! Will be able to use the information and go back to my children and look at the situation differently.
- really interesting & informative. Extremely engaging speaker. Would be happy to hear more on this at another time.
- I feel I learnt so much from this intro course when I THOUGHT I knew something about it. Very interesting and lots to work on.
- the training was very informative. It can be applied to many situations.
- very useful, has flagged up a lot of children who have displayed some of the signs – this has made me think differently about how we could proceed.
- very thought provoking. Made me think of many children in our school (& adults). Thank you.
- I really enjoyed this session. It was really well delivered and I would love to learn more on this subject. The whole 1 1/2 hours was fabulous – lots of great ideas for children and staff.
- I thought this training was a great eye opener and I found it very useful. I would like the opportunity to have more training on this.
- a real eye opener for me professionally and personally! Thank you so much.
Feb 13, 2015 | Health, School, TRE, Uncategorized
” I was a teacher for 25 years…and you couldn’t be in your body as a teacher…you had to cope. “
A lovely lady said this to me on the last day of the TRE module in London that I was assisting at last week. She had been on a 3 day adventure of mind and body – learning why she had developed so much physical pain (mostly in her back and neck) and what being ‘grounded’ and ‘in her body’ really meant. What it meant from a neuro-physiological perspective and what it meant for her – in her felt experience – in her body!
It is an interesting thought that being ‘not in her body‘ – her way of describing a state of dissociation from her body – had been the only way to cope with the stress of being a teacher for 25 years. Being constantly on alert for what might happen next in the classroom, trying to perform to her best and communicate and connect with the children she worked with each lesson of the day, always trying to climb the never ending slippery slope of admin, and keeping up with the physical, emotional and mental stress of working in a ‘team’ of other adults, some of whom she found really hard to get on with.
The combinations of these stresses had her body in survival mode, and if you can’t fight it or ‘flight’ from it, the only other option is to freeze in it. However, freezing physically was not an option…so she established a default ‘dissociated’ state from which to operate from.
The thing is as we spoke and she described it to me I knew there were so many others who would be in total agreement with her. Life is stressful. Teaching is stressful…and children are better than NASA at detecting adults stress on their subconscious ‘radar’. Faster than a speeding bullet they can become aggressive or avoidant to keep themselves safe…and do aggressive or avoidant children make a teachers life a tad more stressful by any chance??!! The viscous cycle has to be unlocked we agreed… And she had just discovered her proverbial key…in the most gentle and profound way.
What I loved was how open she was to the adventure of allowing her body to tremor and release the deeply held years of tension. She physically looked different even just after 5 sessions, her shoulders were lower, her face was softer and more open, and her eyes more sparkly.
TRE is an amazing tool, and I am just so grateful I discovered it when I did. Being able to use it to calm and ground my own body; turn off my internal stress state and release tension has been a joy for me over the last few years. I think the bigger joy now is sharing it with other people. Who else wants/needs to learn?
Jan 30, 2015 | Children, Emotional Wellbeing, School, Trauma, Uncategorized
So last week I was sat in a hall observing a PE lesson being taught to a reception class. One little chap caught my eye. This is what happened:-
The teacher got out lots of white soft plastic floor markers. He demonstrated how the children had to jump over them forwards and backwards 5 times. They all had a go moving round the hall and when they got to the markers dutifully (some more wobbly than others) combined the complex arts of coordinating a body to jump forewords, then do it backwards and count at the same time: it was a real work out!
Next the teacher introduced red markers – where they had to jump side to side; then finally orange were added to the mix for 5 frog jumps.
So the class started their washing machine moving around the hall (do children in Australia do PE swirling in the opposite direction?!) and remembered what they had to do when they got to a white, red or orange marker, well mostly.
This particular little lad had the instructions down. He did 2 white markers and then moved across the hall with real intent. He was inconspicuous and easily lost in the middle of the 5 year old melee, but he knew what he wanted. He wanted red.
Eventually he spotted a red one and not only was it red – it was free! No other bodies jumping across it. He got there and did his 5 (although I think it was actually 6 – but that’s not the point) sideways jumps and a smile spread across his face.
He was off again in his physically uncoordinated but ‘I can do this’ way, and I was guessing he was on the search for an orange marker. Yep – he spotted one, and it was free – but as he got close to it so did another child. He backed off. The other child didn’t even look at him as she assumed the position ready for frog jump number 1.
Our boy moved away and set off on the hunt for another orange marker. The same thing happened…another child arrived at the same time…and he backed right off.
Repeat this pattern 2 more times and it was only him and me in that room who knew how hard he was working to try and get what he wanted… Who had a sense of what this experience was like for him – knowing what he wanted and yet not pursuing it if it involved anyone else.
My heart went out to him. There was a fleeting moment when I wanted to get off my perch and jump in that washing machine with him….go and reserve him an orange spot…go and mediate for him should another child try to get in the way (which incidentally they weren’t doing deliberately or nastily…)
But I knew that wouldn’t help. This was his journey. He didn’t like confrontation …and knowing some of his background I understood why. For him confrontation of any sort meant loud shouting; meant aggression; meant not feeling safe. So he was torn – knowing what he wanted, knowing what would make him smile more, and going after it with the invisible cords of his life learnings pulling him away whenever he got close.
It made me reflect how true this can be in life generally
how often do we avoid what others are going for even if we desperately want it too?
how much does our past story and life learning help us move towards feeling fulfilled in the present or does it rather act as an invisible undercurrent always pulling us further away, no matter how hard we swim?
how often do we not go near what we really want for fear of others reactions?
how much does what is true in one time and place leach into becoming truth in other areas or chapters of our lives?
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Certainly what children learn about being safe in those early years will so often become the lens of how they view the whole world – until they have the chance to take off those glasses and learn to see that not all of life is like that. Safety is possible. Fulfillment is possible. There are orange markers that have our name on and getting them will probably not harm us in anyway like we fear.
He didn’t have much confidence or self-assertion but one thing our little chap did have was tenacity. 4 orange markers gone and he persisted – #5 was his.
Free and his.
The smile spoke volumes.
His frog jumps had an added celebratory feel to them.
He got there!
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